“Strict about showing up, lenient about the results” - the ADHD-er clarification
In this video, Tad Hargrave talks about a great concept from George Kao: “Being strict about showing up, but being lenient about the results“.
Now I agree with this but there is some further clarification needed for us ADHDers because, to us, this whole concept of “systems“ and “consistency“ usually sounds frightening and triggering. The concept still works, we just need to dig even deeper to find our version of it!
When we ADHD folks hear "systems," we tend to think about really rigid, high-maintenance systems that we have never been able to keep running throughout our whole life. Because of that, we are full of shame when it comes to systems.
So hearing this message is dangerous for us for the very same reason Tad mentioned in the video, we will think it’s pervasive, permanent, plus personal, and specifically, we will think this about our inability to maintain systems.
And the truth is we really are unable to maintain systems but that’s only true in the neurotypical meaning of “systems“ and “consistency“.
(I should say the non-ADHD meaning of it rather because with certain types of Autism you can maintain super complex systems... Anyway...)
Yet the core of this message still applies!
We just need to translate it to ADHDer capabilities!
It would probably go like this: If you are failing at biz, it’s not you failing as a person, it’s your systems, but it might be because the systems you are trying to apply were never meant for you! They were meant for non-ADHD people. Find the ones that work for YOU!
So working on your systems doesn't have to mean working harder and making them more complex (again something also mentioned in the video too❤️) but maybe more simple, with more novelty and fun, whatever makes you use them.
There are fun and simple systems that work for ADHDers. But almost certainly they will look COOOOMPLEEETELY different than for the non-ADHDers.
So be strict about showing up, but don’t beat yourself up if its a recurring but random occasion.
Be lenient about the results, as well as the nonADHD-er meaning of “systems” and “consistency”.
Your consistency might look like having an 8-hour hyperfocus twice a month at a random time when you have the mood/dopamine/inspiration to spring into it. Just be sure to not skip a month 😁
